Overfunctioning and Undernourished: Why High-Achieving Women Struggle to Ask for Help

In a culture that rewards independence and glorifies busyness, high-achieving women are often celebrated for doing it all. But beneath the applause is a quiet exhaustion — and a deep-rooted belief that asking for help is a weakness. In this blog, we’re unpacking the hidden costs of overfunctioning, and how learning to receive can be your most powerful act of growth.

What Is Overfunctioning?

• Taking responsibility for everyone else’s needs

• Micromanaging at work or in relationships

• Believing things won’t get done unless you do them

• Offering help but rarely accepting it in return

Why It Feels So Hard to Ask for Help

• Fear of being a burden

• Learned self-sufficiency from childhood

• Past experiences where vulnerability was punished

• Internalised narratives that strength = doing it alone

The Emotional Toll

• Chronic stress and health issues

• Resentment and burnout in personal relationships

• Isolation masked as competence

• Difficulty trusting others to support you

How to Shift the Pattern

• Practise asking for small things and build tolerance

• Redefine strength as interdependence

• Explore your fear of being seen as ‘needy’

• Build safe relationships where reciprocity is the norm

You don’t have to keep carrying it all alone. Inside The Hive, you’ll find other women who are learning to ask for help, receive support, and rewrite what strength looks like. It’s free, and it’s where healing starts.