Overthinking Everything? Here's What Your Brain Is Really Trying to Do

If your brain feels like a browser with 35 tabs open and you can’t seem to close any of them then this post might change everything.

Overthinking isn’t a personality trait. It’s not something you were born with or destined to live with forever. It’s a survival response and a smart one at that.

As high-achieving women, we often find ourselves caught in an endless cycle of planning, replaying conversations, predicting worst-case scenarios, and agonising over decisions. But what if all that mental noise wasn’t random? What if your brain was trying to keep you safe?

Let’s explore what overthinking really is and how to calm it without switching off your ambition.

Why Your Brain Overthinks

Overthinking is a symptom of an overstimulated nervous system. When you’re in a chronic state of alert (thanks to stress, pressure, unresolved trauma, or burnout), your brain goes into threat-detection mode.

It looks like:

• Replaying conversations to analyse what went wrong.

• Creating imaginary scenarios to plan every possible outcome.

• Delaying decisions out of fear of failure or judgement.

This is your brain trying to find control in an unpredictable world.

3 Overthinking Styles (And How to Spot Yours)

1. The Problem-Solver

Always running through to-do lists, worst-case planning, or rehearsing outcomes. You believe that if you just think more, you’ll finally feel safe.

2. The Self-Doubter

You replay your words and actions, worried you upset someone or came off the wrong way. You crave reassurance but fear judgement.

3. The Over-Planner

You avoid taking action until every detail is perfect. You gather information endlessly and delay making moves in case you make the wrong one.

Do you recognise yourself in one, or all three?

The High-Achiever Link

High-achieving women are often praised for being detail-oriented, conscientious, and thoughtful. These traits become internalised and pushed to the extreme.

You might feel like:

• Slowing down means falling behind.

• If you make a mistake, you’ll lose everything you’ve worked for.

• If you don’t anticipate every outcome, something bad will happen.

These beliefs aren’t irrational. They’re protective mechanisms, often rooted in past experiences where being prepared or perfect did keep you safe.

The Problem With Mental Overdrive

While overthinking feels productive, it actually stalls action. It:

• Keeps you stuck in fear-based cycles.

• Prevents rest and sleep.

• Weakens your confidence.

• Increases anxiety, especially around performance or relationships.

To change it, we have to regulate the body first — not force the mind to “just stop.”

Regulate First, Reflect Later

Here are some tools that calm the nervous system before trying to change thoughts:

1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Tool:

Identify 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. This anchors your mind in the present.

2. Shake It Off:

Literally shake your arms and legs for 30 seconds to discharge adrenaline and nervous energy.

3. Box Breathing:

Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat for 2 minutes.

4. Take Action Sooner:

Set a 5-minute timer to make a decision or start the task. You can always refine later, progress breaks the cycle.

Compassion Over Criticism

Overthinking isn’t fixed by forcing logic. It’s softened through self-compassion.

Try:

• “It makes sense that I’m trying to prepare for every possibility — that’s how I stayed safe in the past.”

• “I can take action before I feel 100% certain.”

• “My worth isn’t defined by my productivity or perfection.”

Speak to yourself like you would a close friend who’s overwhelmed. That tone matters more than any strategy.

You’re Not Broken

Your brain is doing what it learned to do: protect you. But you no longer need to live in mental hypervigilance to be successful, respected, or loved.

You can still be ambitious... just with more calm, clarity, and self-trust.

Want to gently quiet the overthinking spiral? Join The Hive today for instant access to my “Overthinking Detox” guided audio and workbook.

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