Why You Can’t “Out-Work” Your Anxiety And What to Do Instead
- Jessica Adams
- Aug 26
- 2 min read
You’ve tried journaling, routines, and powering through, but the anxiety still lingers. Here’s the truth: you can’t hustle your way out of a dysregulated nervous system.
Ambition is beautiful. But when anxiety hides behind it, even the biggest achievements won’t bring peace.
High-achieving women often manage their anxiety by doing more. We become perfectionists, fixers, caretakers, and leaders, not just because we’re capable, but because it feels safer to do than to feel.
But here’s what I want you to know: anxiety isn’t solved by productivity. It’s solved by safety. And that starts in the body.
What Anxiety Really Is
Anxiety is a sign that your nervous system is stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. It’s not weakness. It’s your body trying to protect you from perceived danger.
For high-functioning women, it can look like:
Chronic overthinking.
Restlessness or muscle tension.
People-pleasing and overcommitment.
Difficulty switching off — even during downtime.
You may be externally composed but internally exhausted.
The Anxiety-Hustle Loop
Here’s how it plays out:
You feel anxious.
You throw yourself into work, responsibilities, or routines.
You receive external praise, which temporarily soothes the discomfort.
The anxiety returns — usually stronger.
This loop keeps your nervous system activated and prevents real recovery.
What Doesn’t Work (Long-Term)
Toxic positivity. Telling yourself “everything’s fine” when your body feels otherwise only deepens the disconnect.
Over-scheduling. Filling your calendar to avoid discomfort doesn’t solve the root issue.
Distraction. Scrolling, bingeing, or numbing offer short-term relief but reinforce avoidance.
What Does Work: Regulate Before You Reason
To move through anxiety, you need to build safety in your nervous system first.
1. Co-Regulate:
Spend time with people who help you feel calm and grounded. Safe relationships help your system feel less alone in its fear.
2. Vagus Nerve Activation:
Try cold water on your face, humming, gentle neck stretches, or diaphragmatic breathing. These calm the body and signal safety to your brain.
3. Movement:
Not just workouts... think walking, stretching, dancing. Movement completes the stress cycle and reduces cortisol.
4. Let Yourself Feel:
Name your emotion. Say out loud, “I’m feeling anxious right now.” This reduces its grip and increases your ability to move through it.
Rewrite the Narrative
You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to prove your worth. You don’t have to carry everything alone.
You can be successful and still need support. You can be high-achieving and still be gentle with yourself. You can move fast and still honour slow.
Anxiety isn’t who you are. It’s a response you learned.
You don’t have to push harder. You have to soften strategically.
Want access to my guided “Anxiety Unlearning” tools?
Join The Hive now and learn how to regulate your anxiety without losing your ambition.
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