Signs of low self-esteem in a relationship and what to do about it

Updated: Apr 14

As you guys may know by now, I am a CBT specialist and I work with women and specialise in low self-esteem.

One thing I have learned from my clients is there is a massive misunderstanding of the definition and understanding of self-esteem. To briefly explain, self-esteem is internal. It is how you truly feel about yourself. Think of confidence like it is a byproduct of self-esteem. Self-esteem levels are really important to maintain as it governs your inner chatter. It gives you acceptance and compassion (or not!) low self-esteem levels can be long standing, and debilitating if left unaddressed.

Self-esteem can present itself in different aspects of your life. Here I want to identify signs of low self-esteem in relationships:

You don't express your needs or ask for help for fear of being a burden.You take someone’s need for space personally.You find yourself being hypersensitive to feedback.

You notice a loss of sense of self, especially when attraction is involved in the dynamic.

You present as being ‘needless,’ or you find yourself over-giving in order to prove your worth.

You project authority (or a parental dynamic) by asking your partner's permission for things, or to do things.

You view boundaries as ultimatums, rather than healthy personal limits.

Does this resonate? If so, you may be suffering with low levels of self-esteem. This can improve with practices that build these levels. The first thing you can do today is to practice gratitude, and self-compassion.


If you need support working on your own personal development journey I have a series of on-demand programmes that focus on the following areas:


If you need support working on your own personal development journey I have a series of on-demand programmes that focus on the following areas:


You will receive 4 weeks worth of workbooks that guide you through these areas with purpose and intention so you can overcome your blocks and barriers.



Click the link below to access the on-demand programmes to get started on your own personal development journey!



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