Updated: Apr 14
Our perception of our world was formed by the information processes of our younger selves. All of our past selves. Even baby you, trying to play in the park with the kids that you’ve never met before, and working out why you feel so uncomfortable with the bullish kid that won't let anyone on the slide…
Emotional intelligence, coping behaviours, and patterns are developed over time. However, not enough emphasis is given to actively and consciously teach us how to process information effectively for our mental wellbeing, and look out for the characters that do not - or cannot - serve us in the way we need.
There is a balance that needs to be established between the ‘that’s not on you’ conversation and taking personal responsibility for dynamics and events that shape your life.
The first steps to establishing this balance is knowledge and understanding. Here are 7 things we should have learned about others growing up (but probably didn’t):
1. Human predators exist. It is in our interest to recognise that.
2. Good intentions don’t take away the pain from someone hurting us, but bad intentions means that we will be hurt methodically and consistently. Intentions do matter.
3. It’s important to notice if a third party has undue influence in your relationships.
4. People can be “good” healthy people and we still may not fit with them.
5. People who are predators have good moments and can be really fun. They aren’t always behaving badly.
6. When you have to evaluate people, know that words matter less than actions. And actions matter less than patterns of behaviour.
7. If you are chronically unsure about their interest (and it’s not your pattern to feel this way) they aren’t seeing you in the way you need/want them to.
Observing these points in action and gaining this knowledge of the world around you will help you process information in a more accurate, healthy way. It will inform your boundaries. It will help you assess friendships and relationships. In turn, all of this will help you establish a strong sense of self, build your self-esteem, limit any chronically anxious feelings and increase your confidence.What stands out for you?
If you need support working on your own personal development journey I have a series of on-demand programmes that focus on the following areas:
You will receive 4 weeks worth of workbooks that guide you through these areas with purpose and intention so you can overcome your blocks and barriers.
Click the link below to access the on-demand programmes to get started on your own personal development journey!